Yuki Summerby

Do you know what I love about my job? The money. Do you know what I do not like about my job? Everything else. No no, I lie. It is alright. I guess. Now that I am the Assistant's assistant, I have status! A little! I did get a raise though! That was brilliant! More money is always brilliant. This is old news, but I kept forgetting to write about it. Raises and promotions should always be shared!

So the day after the day after tomorrow is a great day. NO. It is the best day ever. Do you know why that is how it is? Because February thirteenth was the day I was born. The day Yukihito Summerby came to be! We should all celebrate. It should be a bank holiday. No work because it is the best day of the year!

I'M A BIG BROTHER! AGAIN!! WITH A LITTLE BROTHER!!

I'm not engaged, thanks Mama. You have brilliant timing. No no, I'm fine.

Little Benjamin Devin Summerby was born a couple of days ago and he is healthy and big and cute and soft! I can only think of one better Christmas present than a baby brother!! HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Brillian being alive, isn't it?

( Private to Ernie Mac and Wayne )

( Hexed AGAINST Jocelin! )

I have continued to stay away from the Werewolf Capture Unit. I have also somehow moved up just slightly but not really. I think I have at least. My boss sends me on errands for him in particular and has sort of claimed me? His assist seems fine with it because she would rather not do his errands anymore I guess.

Jocelin, my love, my life, I want you to come to dinner with my Granddad Summerby and me tonight. Is there anything you'd like? He is not picky and you know I am not. What is your favourite foods? If you could have anything!

You know what is so nice? It is so nice to go walking with your girlfriend and walk past couples PROPOSING by the river. I know I just love it. Especially when they are so sodding loud about it. Congratulations whoever you are, couple! Have a happy life and lots of babies and live in the country and have family dinners and visit your relatives on the holidays to show off all your babies and your wife to your uncles that said you should stop chasing white girls, but I GOT ONE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Yes. Yes, I hope they have a fine life! Cheers to them!

I am fine. No, no, I am just fine. I can not very well propose to Jocelin when someone else did it right next to us! It would be like I was copying the bloke! Bloody Hell. Really, I'm fine. I have a new plan. Yes!

Work is not so bad. I barely see Papa and I guess that is fine. Mama keeps trying to owl me lunch, but her cooking is not very good. Please don't tell her I said that! She is so moody. My boss is a loon, but he is not all bad. He thought it would be funny to give the Werewolf Capture Unit my name. I am sorry, I do not want to capture werewolves for a living. HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE BLOKES? They are scarier looking than sodding Mad Eye! Oh Hell, one of them is coming around again. I am going to go ask for more work now!!

I love being back in England! It is brilliant! The lack of weird plants that turn people purple, the not being around a bunch of annoying people that I barely know. NOT HAVING TO CLEAN UP SECOND YEARS' VOMIT OR DEAD CREATURES! Still, I need to get another job. Papa says if the Ministry was really sorry then they'd give me a job without him having to pull strings. Acutally Mama said that, but she keeps telling me Papa said it because she thinks he has influence just by saying things. Does the Minister even have that sort of influence?

I knew just what I would buy with the money the Ministry sent me, but Papa talked me into using it for flat searching instead and that is how I am living with my best friends! I still bought what I had wanted to buy and it is brilliant and Papa helped me find it and gave me a loan because Yukari is off in Spain or something and he needed to get out of the house because Mama is mad when she's pregnant. DO NOT TELL HER THIS PLEASE!! I WOULD NOT ADVISE SPEAKING TO HER EITHER, SHE IS SCARY! Mary has a handle on her, and Mathilda. I think Megumi is coming too. It is all the M aunts! Nao left a week before I came back, so do not fear, not all of my aunts have the same first initial.

Jocelin, your dad scares me you should come visit us again soon! I can make you dinner or we could go take a walk or something I do not know. It will be brilliant of course because you will be with me! What did your parents think of me? I think your dad wants to kill me. They seem nice! Great! Your brother hasn't told them too much has he? He didn't tell your dad about us breaking up? PLEASE Don't let him tell your dad that!

So that stuff is all over and things are normal or as normal as things can be I guess. I was just thinking about when we were students and Merlin, it reminded me! No, not of how much I hate Zacharias Smith. I do hate him, though. No, it reminded me of one of my favourite Hufflepuff girls who is not here.

BLYTHE DUNSTAN!!

I am confused why she did not come back, I will ask her when we get out. Maybe she came late? I do not know! She was always a breath of fresh air around the dorms, especially during exams and boring times. I worked at her mom's shop one summer for extra money. Papa thought it would be a brilliant learning experience. I think it was money that I did not have to butter up Papa for. Mama is a terrible source of money, she thinks I will use it on things that are not important. I usually use it on girls though, like Jocelin. Jocelin, you have to meet Mama and Papa when we get out! They will love you!

WAIT BLYTHE YES! I wonder what she will say when she sees that I am an inch shorter. I hope she did not grow anymore, she was so tall! I remember when we were younger and Rida got her hair dyed and mine was bleached, she tried to give me a haircut when I realised how awful the bleached looked over halfway through the year when I realised other people hated it and she even helped fix it! Then my hair was black for a while, but everyone told me I was Asian and Asian boys should have black hair. Well that is racist! I'm not just Asian! Ask Grandpa Summerby! He thought my name was York for the first couple of years of my life I heard, but he is not all bad! My hair is sort of the natural colour it should be. Maybe I will get my hair cut again when we get out of school. I will ask her if she has any suggestions on something good looking and appropriate for job hunting since she has been out in the world for over a year now.

FUCKING MERLIN PEOPLE!! THIS SHITE IS NOT GOOD OR PROPER OR ANYTHING. I went to see Jocelin this morning and she was bleeding and there was blood all over her bed and I screamed and she didn't even realise until she woke up and it scared me and I carried her to the Hospital Wing and I am not leaving her until they swear to me that she is perfectly fine.

It was so much blood and I am going to stay right here with her dammit. She still seems a little pale now. The cuts on her-

HOW CAN ANYONE HURT HER? SHE IS BRILLIANT AND BEAUTIFUL AND SWEET AND KIND AND THE BEST HEAD GIRL THE SCHOOL HAS HAD!! WHY WOULD ANYONE HURT HER??

I cried when I saw her but she was so pale and blood and I do not think she noticed-

There was so much sodding blood. Her sheets were bloody red!! And and her face! Her skin, it was so pale and I was scared she might have been- BUT SHE WAS NOT!! IS NOT!!! I am still not leaving her, no. I can not do things if I do not know she is safe.

I don't care if I'm an adult or staff or anything, but I swear to Merlin if anyone out there touches Jocelin again.

Look. Look people. This shite needs to stop. RIGHT BLOODY NOW DAMMIT!! I DO NOT BLOODY CARE IF YOU THINK IT IS FUNNY OR WHAT! KNOCK IT OFF!!

First I had to clean up dead monkeys and now this? IT IS STUPID AND CHILDISH AND NASTY!!

WATER BUGS PEOPLE! THAT IS SO BLOODY DISGUSTING!!


( Private to Jocelin )

( Hexed to Hufflepuffs )

Hannah had the BEST coffee talk subject! It was really great to hear about people's lives except Zacharias Smith because we all hate him. But not even Zacharias Smith can ruin my brilliant mood, no he can not! Hannah, you are brilliant! Coffee talk was brilliant! Life is brilliant! Why is life brilliant? Because it is and my secrets are not to be shared with the common folk!

Okay, maybe one secret. I have an amazing girlfriend. With dead sexy legs and she is not an icy bitch, so shut up WAYNE AND ERNIE MAC! She is a great person and always there when I need her or when her friends need her and has brilliant taste in friends NOT THAT STUPID SAMUELS KID THOUGH and clothes and puts up with my crazy. She is just brilliant and I love her!

Also, as a sort of school official DO NOT GO INTO THE FOREST! THERE ARE GIANT MONKEYS!!

OH AND GO ORANGE OCCAMIES!! WE WILL BE AGGRESSIVE AND EAT OUR OPPONENTS JUST LIKE OUR NAMES SAYS!! I am sorry, Jocelin, but my team will have to beat yours. It will be like when we were students! Only you know who I am now besides Hufflepuff's Asian Beater!

Okay. So, sad times. Yeah. I have good news though and it'll make everyone happier because it's very much not about anyone, you know, dying. Well, except Papa when Mama finds out about him writing me us about it. But not really. Parents! Anyway. Okay. Okay. This is brilliant! I haven't heard anything as brilliant in years! There's only a couple things that could be better than this like Jocelin having my babies and I'm nearly sure most of those won't be happening for a long long time!

Wait, did I say it yet? Nope, nope, didn't say it. Okay, here it it!!

MAMA'S PREGNANT!! MRS. MISATO SUMMERBY IS PREGNANT AND I WILL HAVE A LITTLE BABY SIBLING! ISN'T THAT THE BEST THING EVER?

( Private )

I did not cry! okay, I cried a little.

So everyone's already mentioned it. Hannah's memorial was just brilliant. I have a few spare pictures if anyone would like them. I didn't say anything before because when I found the pictures it was time to go on down to lunch and to meet Hannah and I was down there quite a bit all day. So, right, here's a couple of the pictures if anyone wants some. I have extra copies of everything! The quality is bloody awful in a few, they're old, you know.

( Cedric in the hall )
Hey, there is a head in this one and they won't turn around! Does anyone recognise the back of that head? I'm really curious!!

( Cedric at dinner or something )
Terrible picture and it didn't turn out right so now he's stuck like that in this picture for ever! He's happy though, so it's good, right?

( Cedric not smiling! )
This is the best one even though he still won't smile. It's because that was when he loaned me his tie. He was frowning because I had forgotten mine and after I snapped that one he loaned me his because I was on my way to Potions and he said Snape would bite my head off and eat it for breakfast if I didn't have my tie on. That old git always did pick on Hufflepuffs.

Bloody Hell, I got myself going again. Right, so I'm going to wrap this up now. Don't pay attention if you spot me sniffling or anything, I'm allergic to something. Just around this time of year, of course.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE! I ONLY HAVE TWO PAIRS OF SHOES HERE AND IF I HAVE TO DO MY ROUNDS IN MY NICE DRAGON HIDE BOOTS THEN I WILL.

Damn, those things get so hot. I'd rather go barefoot. Thank Merlin I don't need my glasses all the time. My gloves. Bloody Hell, those were the nice gloves Jocelin gave me. I can't find the ones from Papa either. I hate this thing. I'm going to find whoever is taking things and give them over to Jocelin, Filch, and all those really angry girls because there is nothing that can do more damage to someone than a mob of angry girls.

I hope it was Dennis. We have passed the time of laughing people.

I thought I heard a scream this morning. It was very quiet, but familiar.

Okay people. PEOPLE. My flask is missing. MY GOOD DENTED FLASK. It got me through N.E.W.T.S and some CRAZY times. IT IS OKAY IF YOU TOOK IT. Really, I will laugh. HAHA, you see? HAHA. Just give it back. Now.

HA! MY JOURNAL WAS NOT STOLEN IT WAS JUST HIDDEN! Thanks Ernie Mac and Wayne. Thanks. I KNOW WHY YOU HID THIS FROM ME YOU KNOW!! IT'S BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT ME FUSSING AT PEOPLE FOR SHAGGING LITTLE GIRLS! WELL PEOPLE ARE PERVERTS AND YOU TWO ARE MEAN FOR LOCKING ME IN THE CLOSET TO KEEP ME QUIET!!

None of you talk to me. No. Do not. ESPECIALLY NOT CERTAIN GIRLS WHOSE MOTHERS I AM TALKING TO AS SOON AS WE GET OUT OF THIS BLOODY CASTLE!!

Okay. Okay okay okay. I'm fine! Yes, I'm fine!

NO I AM NOT FINE! SOMEONE HAS STOLEN JOCELIN'S PICTURES FROM HER ROOM! SHE IS VERY UPSET AND I AM VERY ANGRY SO IF ANYONE DID THIS THEN THEY HAD BETTER CONFESS SO I CAN HURT THEM!!!

So whoever is stealing stuff, knock it off. It's just annoying and Yukari keeps saying she's going to kick whoever is doing it so watch out. She's been wearing her hard little pointy heels. I got a kick in the shin with those shoes once and it felt like sunshine and rainbows and bunny rabbit kisses. NO IT DID NOT! It felt like getting stabbed in the leg. SO WATCH YOUR ASSES! DON'T MAKE MY SISTER MAD, SHE'S MORE THAN PREPARED. Be afriad, Ravenclaw boys.

Oh and HAHAHA JUST TRY TO STEAL MY STUFF! I hexed my trunk to the floor!

So we didn't win the game, but that's not bad. It's fun to play and see people do badly SO BAD WOW CORNER REALLY. Angelina was awful but I think she might kill me if I say that Seamus was terrible too, but it's fine mate, it's fine, I took care of you! We were fine, mate, we were fine! It was a brilliant game!! You did good Weasley twins' team!!

Come on everybody, can't we all just get along? Hufflepuff didn't win a single game this year, but do you see us bitching and moaning? Not at all! Nigel and the team, they're all good kids! They play for fun, that's what Quidditch is about. So buck up, everybody! The year is over and Slytherin got the cup. If you want to hate anyone, go hate them! I'm kidding. No, I'm serious. No, really. Hate them.

Rida! How's your bum now? Did you like our visit? Wayne didn't grope your arse when he carried you, did he? Jocelin was worried about you too and your captain. He shouldn't write in his journal when he's drunk. You know, that little Asian Slytherin got in trouble for doing that, so you should tell him to be careful next time. Is Yukari still there? TELL HER TO GO STUDY!

[Private to Jocelin]
Have I ever told you how bloody hot it is when you Head Girl people? Like when you threatened Sloper? That was brilliant. Brilliant!

I love children. Usually. When they aren't trying to hex me after I tell them to go to class. This little punk Second year Ravenclaw tried to hit me with a Jelly Legs curse. What is wrong with children these days? I do not remember trying to hex my superiors! Maybe a Prefect or someone a year or two older than me, but not a graduated student when I was bloody 12!

Yukari begged me to take Domestic Arts with her. I said okay. I'm hoping they do some advanced class thing I can use and show some little piece of paper that says I'm not a dunce at Potions. Bloody Merlin, forget advanced, it would need to be remedial. I forgot everything that's not important.

Is anyone else taking this one? I'm not going to be stuck there with her, am I? Ernie Mac and Wayne, you did say you're taking it too, right? RIGHT?

I'm so bloody tired of all of this. Yes. I am bloody short. I've shrunk FIVE sodding inches and I don't know why. I'm not coming out. I'm not telling you people where I am. Except Jocelin. I'll tell Jocelin, if she asks. I'm hiding though until this can get fixed. I even talked to Slughorn and he just bloody laughed he kept going on and on about how disappointed he was that Yukari and I weren't as good as Potions as Papa was.

Ernie Mac, you can do your patrols on your own, right? Sprout won't let me shirk my duties, so I'm just going to go out on my own so everyone won't be able to make the comparison.

( [Private] )

[Jocelin!]
Don't listen to the boys, I'm just in my room.
[/Jocelin]

[Hannah!]
I think I have a better idea of how you felt with your hair thing last year. Do you have any advice for this? [/Hannah]

Let me start off with WAYNE EDWARD HOPKINS III NEEDS TO CLEAN HIS CLOSET! It does not just smell like you, it smells like you bloody curled up and died in there. Did you bring Brandy and not feed her or something? My closet smells like kitten fur and dust sunshine and nice things. If you do not clean it, I'll bring Ernie Mac into this.

Biscuit is doing quite well, she is growing and Yukari thought she'd steal her for Colin and Max's picture day. WELL TOO BAD! GET YOUR OWN CAT! I let her take my stupid owl. She made some weird little bonnet that didn't fit because it was made for Biscuit. She is a silly girl. Papa really should just buy her a bloody pet when we get out of here. This is just sad. I don't know why he hadn't, maybe because she KILLED MY TURTLE? I think so. Her and her little friend used to be such mean children. Yukari cried for whatever she wanted and Rida stole attention from me for my Papa! used to bite people all the time.

I hope everyone is feeling alright after all that shifting business. Nothing changed here and now I'm scared to leave my room because I'll probably end up in Wayne's bloody closet again. NO I AM NOT THANKING YOU AGAIN, WAYNE! The teachers sent me around to make sure there things were really settled, so if you get lost you should owl me and I'll come find you because according to Sprout I need even more responsibility. I do not mind, but I got lost when I was running messages around for Sprout so I don't think I'm a very good candidate BUT I WILL TRY FOR THE SAKE OF YOU INNOCENT STUDENTS.

( Private! )

JOCELIN! I was so happy to see you weren't hurt and that you were happy to see me too. You scared me at first. You should jump into my arms more often. WE should work on that Arts and Crafts project tonight if you're available. Maybe? Are you?

( Private to DAPHNE! )

( Private to KRIS! )

IT IS AFTER MIDNIGHT NOW SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! KAMPAI! It is almost the exact moment when I was born even.